Wednesday, February 5

Life Stuff: Real talk?

Last week I found myself sitting in a chair at the hairdressers. My mom had finally convinced me to get my hair cut because it was "too long". I've been rocking the side long braid for the past month because it's pretty darn easy to do every morning. Personally I can find other things to spend money on than getting my hair cut, but I'll usually try and aim for at least twice a year. I had originally decided on chopping 4-5 inches off and then after the whole hair wash thing I had dropped down to 3 or 4 and by the time I was in the chair I had decided that I would just get a inch or two...or whatever was split cut off. Of course getting the ends chopped off and razored [I hate straight cuts since they don't grow out well for me] left my hair looking noticeably better. OK, I guess my mom was right, maybe a hair cut wouldn't kill me.

While my hair was getting cut my hair dresser who has known me all my life asked if Erik and I had plans to get married anytime soon. I'm used to this question by now so I was able to justify my reasons why I wasn't ready to get married and I'm sure she didn't quite agree, but whatever, I'm the one that needs to be happy.

A few minutes later she asked if I spent Christmas up north with Erik's family. It's pretty clear that Erik's dad isn't in to women that have a opinion, and I certainly have a lot of them. I've spent two weekends in the past 2 and 1/2 years up north and both times I left pretty agitated. It's no rocket science why I am agitated when I leave. As the only female in the house I am expected to make all the meals and then clean up after every one of them while the men excuse themselves to the formal living room and talk about god knows what. The door the room is always shut when they are in there and I know from experience that if you walk in when that door is shut you better not be planning on staying. If anyone offers to help me clean up they are given a stern look and it's clear that it's not appropriate to do. I usually end up heading to bed early and always give up on Erik returning before I fall asleep as it's usually well after midnight.

The first time I spent time up there was for New Years Eve and I remember getting dropped off at my parents after the weekend and I was just so confused about how people could act like that. The second time I was more prepared for what I would encounter but it really made it no better. I joke that Erik has it so easy with my family. My parents treat Erik with respect and involve him in conversations and make him feel welcome no matter what the occasion.

When my hair dresser asked if I had spent time up north, I responded that I didn't and she seemed confused. No holidays up there at all? I replied that I didn't have to spend any time up there since we weren't engaged or married and so really there was no need for me to be there. If Erik had wanted me to go I would have driven myself up and stayed for a day or two, but he knows how rough it is and so really, he can't blame me for not going. Maybe this is the plus with dating, I can do whatever I want and not feel obligated to do things because we are married or engaged.

I joked last post that I wasn't really into resolutions, but I think I am into the idea of telling people how I really feel, instead of always worrying about how they will respond or feel. I always feel obligated to say yes to things, even when I don't agree or don't want to do it. Maybe this year I should focus on being real with people and focusing on saying yes to the things I'm actually passionate about. Let's just not call it a resolution...OK?

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