All The Things

I do not understand how people post blogs multiple times a day, once a day, a few times a week or even just once a week. I've had a quarter written post for half a month because I couldn't get past a few lines without running out of things to say. Most of my days are pretty repetitive. For instance I eat the same breakfast everyday, work, ride my bike and then eat dinner. After dinner I'll watch some TV but only if the Voice/New Girl/The Mindy Project/The Big Bang Theory is on and new. If nothing is on TV I'll lay in bed and read. Every night between 8:30-9:00 I'll get a call from Erik and we will chat for a bit but even then we both recap our workdays and talk about whatever ride we did that night.

I know most people have this repetition in their lives and I'll be honest I really like that things are predictable for the most part. Plus there's always time during the weekends to do all the things that don't fit into the weekdays. I like the fact that my workout schedule is usually pretty well laid out too and I go into every workout with a plan and a specific course I'll be riding. I know that without a plan I'd be a bit lost and wind up aimlessly circling roads.

My perfect idea of a post race week is shown above but in actuality since riding outside means contending with weather everything planned probably won't happen. Wednesday and Thursday have the potential of being a washout thanks to a rain system coming towards the area. 

But did you notice I mentioned that it's post race week? I had my second race last Sunday and even managed to surprise myself with my performance. Actually I shouldn't be surprised by my performance because I've been working incredibly hard to get into shape for race season. I religiously rode my trainer all winter and aside from a week in April with the flu I've been riding hard outdoors and really training for hills. 

Usually on rides I don't eat or drink while on my bike unless I have my CamelBak on. Of course most people at races don't race with a Camelbak and I was pretty determined not to either. So I had half a pack of Shot Bloks in my jersey (pre-opened is key) and a water bottle full of Nuun as well. I ate half of the Shot Bloks before the race and figured I would have the rest and eat them about half way through the race. I knew that fueling would be important because I wanted to keep up the intensity the whole ride and not fizzle out during any of the hills.

I've decided the best way to learn how to eat and drink on the bike if you're like me and terrified that you'll fall over is to put yourself in a situation that you really don't want to fall over. When I'm just riding with the boy or by myself I'm not too worried about falling over. The boy has seen me fall over in the driveway on my bike so that's about embarrassing as it gets in front of him. [PSA: Don't wear flipflops and attempted to show off by standing ontop of your clip-in pedals. It hurts you and your pride.] Basically for me I'd rather not fall over around other cyclists, especially at a race. So as we rode out to the first hill I figured it was a perfect time to grab a few sips of water as practice. I was riding about middle of the pack in a line formation and was able to successfully get water after a few tries. My first try was hilarious and consisted of me spraying water all over my face. Obviously there is a learning curve to all of this and at my current rate I should be able to drink from a bottle successfully in a few years. In all seriousness by the end of the race I could successfully drink and managed not to be a dehydrated mess at the finish.

The first hill split the pack completely and the race leaders took off. I was riding in 5th up the hill with no one behind me since everyone who had been behind me dropped quickly. I managed to pass the 4th place rider on the climb and never saw her again. Of course knowing that someone was behind gave me enough motivation to really push on the downhills. Halfway down from the first climb I met up with the wheelman (each category had their own pace car that lead the leader and wheelman car (basically the car with a man/woman with extra wheels in case of flats) that rode behind the group and eventually followed the the third place rider from what I could tell). As I passed the wheelman he mentioned that I was not far behind and could catch up which obviously motivated me to push harder. Shortly after that I was able to pass the third place rider and just kept pushing. 

Around mile 10 I attempted to eat my first Shot Blok and the experience was pretty awful. I was able to snag one out of the pack and shove it in my mouth and that's when I realized that the idea of chewing something so hot and thick was disgusting. It took a considerable amount of effort to keep it in my mouth and force myself to actually chew it. At one point I was so desperate just to get it out of my mouth I had to hold myself back from gagging. Maybe this is why people test this stuff before they are actually in a race scenario. I forced myself to suck it up and chew quickly and was able to force myself to eat a second blok a few minutes later. Since that spectacular performance I've decided that gels would probably be easier to consume since chewing wouldn't be a factor. 

As I made my way up the hill around mile 16 or so I was really grinding it out. There was a turn off before the steepest part of the climb and volunteers were blocking off the roads to traffic as well as directing people where to go. The guy directing had a little girl who also had a flag and pointed it to the turn down the hill but unfortunately for me the guy made sure to redirect her flag up the hill. As I passed him I yelled that I was really wishing he would just point down the hill. I spent the rest of the race riding alone with the exception of the wheelman and a few guys from the masters categories that I passed. 

Finally I made my way towards the finish and was greeted with a very steep climb. We're talking 10+ percent incline which is just cruel at the end of a race. As I climbed up a guy on the sidelines was yelling that I was #3 in my category and that I podiumed (I don't think this is a real word??) but I was barely moving up. The guy in front of me was zigzagging his way up the hill but I knew if I started zigzagging I would surely end up on the ground so I continued grinding and finally crossed the line. I was so happy that the boy was at the top of the hill and waiting for me because as soon as I crossed I was about ready to tip right over. You know you've given it your all when you can barely unclip your bike without going down after a race. Luckily the boy was nice enough to made sure I didn't tip over and was able to steady me and my bike. I stood over my bike just sucking in air and eventually made my way to the side of the road to watch for my teammates to come in. [I was invited to join  a sponsored team after my first race...so OK maybe I do have things I could write about.] 

Pre-race I mentioned to Erik that if I finished under a hour and a half I would be happy. I had my usual pre-race nerves that included a freak out after my new teammates were discussing the fact that I was "fast." As we unloaded the car I queitly told Erik that I was certain that this team asked the wrong person and maybe got me mixed up with someone else who was indeed "fast." I ended up finishing in a hour and 16 minutes so apparently I need to just have faith that I've worked hard and that I am becoming a strong rider.

All in all it was a great day for a race and oh, there were cookies the size of my face at the end so obviously it was well worth it.

Monday night I rushed home from work, unloaded my bike from my car, and got ready for a ride all in about 10 minutes. After double checking my gear I took off on my bike. I had a nice loop planned out and like every other ride this year the wind was in full force. Heading out wasn't too tough, but I was battling wind whipping at me from the side. About 35 minutes into my ride I found my turn off for the climb I had planned. You can see the climb below, it was just under 600 feet of climbing and honestly one of the toughest hills I've ever climbed.

As I grinded along in the lowest gears possible I kept thinking that I was insane. I'm not the person that purposely finds climbs to ride, I'm usually the one planning my route to detour around them. About three quarters of the way up I knew that I had my first "out" or in other words my escape route. If I was too tired to continue to the top I would just take this road and I'd be in the clear for climbing. When I approached my out I was greeted with a gravel road and a big sign informing me that it was a seasonal highway. I was actually happy when I saw it because it meant I had to suck it up and continue on. As I crested the top of the climb I didn't see the road continuing. Instead I was greeted by another seasonal gravel highway. I'll use the term gravel loosely here because it's not one of those nice packed gravel trails, it's rocky and messy and not suitable for road bikes.

As I was climbing this hill I kept thinking that I would hate to have to go down the same road. Loose gravel on the shoulder and insanely steep sections would make a fast descent that seemed a bit dangerous, especially while riding alone. So here I was at the top of the climb trying to come up with a plan on how to descend it without covering myself in road rash. I briefly considered calling my parents and having them pick me up but I'm sure they wouldn't have appreciate the 40 minute drive to rescue me from a hill I intentionally climbed. Walking my bike down the 1+ mile didn't sound appealing, so I decided to use my brakes and keep myself at a slow speed and work my way down comfortably. Even with my death grips on my brakes I still proceeded down faster than I would have liked and let out quite a few expletives on the way down.

I'm trying to get used to the fact that when I choose to do hard climbs that also means that my average speed is going to drop way down. Going into the climb I was averaging around 18 mph and after the climb I dropped into the low 14's. My 6+ mile almost flat ride home couldn't even bring my speed up that much. I know speed isn't everything and I'm pushing myself on climbs I wouldn't have even considered doing last year. In the end I think that's all that really matters.

When people question my motives for moving where I moved I should just start showing them pictures at the tops of these climbs. It's so amazing to be able to leave my house and within minutes be out in the countryside just enjoying something that I love. A 25 minute commute to work is totally worth it for the cycling alone. I guess if you're a cyclist you'd understand, but as so many of my coworkers are not they usually decide that I must be crazy or something.

Cycling season is officially upon us and I couldn't be any more excited about it. Last weekend I took my bike off my trainer and even swamped my back tire for my fancy road one. Of course the weather this past weekend was iffy at best for riding. It was about 35 degrees and windy which meant by the time we got back inside my feet were completely white. I'm also getting over a really nasty cold/virus/flu combination of sorts so the ride was pretty miserable. I don't know about you but when you can't breathe through your nose and you are hacking up grossness the ride just doesn't seem as awesome as it should.

But I won't dwell on the past weekend, instead lets discuss the awesome ride that happened last night. I rushed home after work and shoved some peanut butter pretzels down as some preride fuel. I don't even like peanut butter but those pretzels are the best thing ever. Anyways, I quickly got on the road and headed north where I was met with a full force of wind. I rode into the wind for about 8 miles which is way worse that any hill climb unless of course you find a hill with a 8 mile climb and in that case you win that battle. Once I reached the next town, I turned and headed east and made my way to my first climb. Usually I hate climbing, but since the climb was pretty much completely sheltered from the wind I actually enjoyed it. Once I got up the hill I headed through the countryside and it so great. The weather was perfect and then sun was out. It's a good thing I didn't pass too many cars along the way because I had a smile plastered one my face as I rode along.

As I headed to the next Strava climb I ended up making a wrong turn so I thought I would just pull over and turn around. The road was pretty pitched to both sides and so as I slowed down I unclipped my left foot and leaned to my right side. Notice I did not unclip my right foot or lean to the left since my left foot was free. Nope, I just awkwardly fell over onto the ground. I was barely moving at the time so it was pretty hilarious. I quickly got up and looked around to see if I had any witnesses to my awesomeness. Thankfully no one was in sight.

It's weird blogging about biking again. I guess I could have blogged about it all through winter but trainer rides don't really seem all that exciting. For the most part I would just ride at a pretty hard effort for my rides and would bike away watching the Tour De France (2001 and 2005 races). According to my workout log I put about 1,100 miles on my trainer and spent over 65 hours on my bike this winter. Frayed Laces posted Trainer Tuesdays with great trainer workout ideas which helped curve my boredom. Since it was my first trainer winter I have nothing to compare it to so it seems like an acceptable amount. I guess that fact that I'm out riding as strong/if not stronger than I was last fall seems like a bonus and a real exciting benefit of trainer sessions.

As I look over the combined race calenders between me and the boy it's looking as though spring through the end of July will be filled with weekends at various races. Actually the madness starts this Sunday with Erik's first Hike-A-Bike. I'll be spectating his mountain bike races so I'm prepared with a Kindle full of books and a chair. While mountain bike races aren't the most awesome events to spectate since you can't really see very much of the race it still seems wise to tag along in case something doesn't go as planed. After Erik's last race where he finished with a concussion I definitely feel better at least being there just in case.

My first race is a week from Sunday and it's a circuit style race, 1.6 mile loop course, that I'll race around 13 times. Since I spent the majority of weeknights last summer riding circles around my parents neighborhood I feel confident that I can keep myself amused enough for 20+ miles. Plus, there should be plenty of people on the course to try and keep up with which should prove to be interesting. Here's to hoping though that I remember to unclip correctly!

[If you're on Strava we should totally be friends...if you are not on Strava you should totally join and once again we should totally be friends! All you need is a Smartphone or GPS device. I swear I do not work for nor am I affiliated with Strava in any way...I just really like it]

If You Don't Have Something Nice To Say...Blog About It?

I try and follow the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all" motto with this blog. Truthfully though I've had lots to talk about but I couldn't figure out a way to discuss it without coming across like a jerk. That being said, I've waited about two weeks before actually sitting down and writing this, so I'm hoping that I come across a bit less angry than I was two weeks ago.

Remember how I mentioned in my last post that I quit Facebook? I've never really been active on it but always found my self "hate scrolling" through peoples posts so I just stopped logging on. One major flaw in this plan is that people can still tag you in things you don't want to be a part of and if you aren't logging on, you don't see what your name is being associated with.

Imagine my surprise when my best friend texts me and let's me know that there's something on Facebook that I need to see, since I've been tagged in it. I log on, not sure of what I'll find, and discover I've been tagged in a post that quite frankly I don't feel all that great being linked to. Of course, for me to continue with this story, I'll first supply some details to fill you in to what's been going on.

Ever since I was diagnosed with MS, I've been team captain of a Walk MS team that included my college roommates plus one or two other people that tagged along every year. In the past years, we've had a really good time, and when we left college I figured it was a good way to get everyone together for the day since we weren't living together anymore. Last year was the second year out of college that we participated and I can't say that I enjoyed it. Of the five of us that walked, two people decided to walk a pretty hefty distance in front of the other three and basically pretend that the other three weren't even there. I don't usually ask for a lot from people, and really all I expected is that we would show up, walk some miles as a group and have fun for a few hours. That didn't happen. It just seemed so click-like and strange and as Steph and I drove away from the event we agreed that it just wasn't fun anymore. We had walked the whole time in the back, with another one of our friends and it was just so awkward even after, as we sat around after the event together.

That experience rubbed me the wrong way, but I chalked it up to a "off day" and just figured I wouldn't let it bother me to much. Things haven't really gotten much better, and I even hinted at distancing myself from some people in my last post and I decided this year that it would be better if our team didn't participate together. Of course I still encourage everyone to still participate if they want to, I'm just choosing not to put myself in that situation this year. Instead of walking this year, I'll be cycling my way through the Finger Lakes again, raising money for the same cause.

So now that you know the back story, lets continue on with today's post:
About two weeks ago I got a text asking if I would be heading the team up this year and since I didn't want to get into some texting fight I choose just to say that I would be out of town that weekend. (I know that eventually I'll probably have to "break up" with this group of friends but I think breaking up with friends is often harder than it is with a guy) What I didn't expect was a post on Facebook a few days later announcing a new team featuring old and new team members from our past team with a new name because the old team captain (me) decided she no longer cared about doing it anymore. Of course this new team also choose to uninvite some additional people, so I'm assuming this new team is super selective (i.e. people and their boyfriends). They went on to say that the old team captain (me) was putting her boyfriend in front of her friends and no longer participating. It went on to link a page that tells my whole MS story because I really need 400+ of their closest Facebook friends to know everything about my diagnosis.

When I was reading that post, I was on speaker phone with my parents who were somewhere in Virginia  and I was livid. I talked to Erik, Steph, and my friend Joe later that night. It took four phone calls and a night of sleep before I wasn't angry.

It's not that I am angry at them for starting a new team. I'm quite happy about that, and will happily support anyone supporting a great cause. What bothers me is that fact that someone would feel the need to say that I no longer cared about the team, but then use my story as their way to get donations. Plus, if you choose to use my story, it would be nice if you wouldn't leave out how the past 4.5 years have gone pretty smoothly.

I find it surprising how other people view how MS has affected my life. Certain people say that it ruined my life because I am unable to do things I did before. I have some extended family that think it's the worst thing ever that I have it and always seem to worry about how I'm handling life and living on my own. I often wonder what those people see when they see me. When I look in the mirror, I don't see what they see. When my parents look at me they don't see the same person they saw in the hospital, they see someone really pushing themselves to be the best they can. Has this journey been easy? No, not at all. It's been a rough ride, especially in the beginning, but as I go onto my 5th year of being diagnosed I would have to say it's one of the factors that is driving me to push myself harder than ever.

I don't tell people that I meet that I have MS, because I'm choosing to not let it define me as a person. I don't need to be treated any differently than anyone else just because of this disease. I also don't need people telling their 400+ Facebook friends for me. When people I do know reach out to me about someone they know getting diagnosed I will happily hand out my number and assist in anyway possible, because I know how hard it can be, but you won't find me on the street handing out flyers advertising that I have it.

I could easily look back and dwell on the fact that once upon a time I missed almost a semester in school, couldn't talk, couldn't walk, couldn't feed myself and feel sorry for myself, but what good would that do? That's in the past. I worked hard to get to where I am today. There were a lot of tears along the way, especially in the first year but today, I'm thriving, and while I can't predict the future I'm choosing to live in the present and focus on all that I can do now.

I sincerely hope that this post does not rub anyone the wrong way. It's just my way of releasing some frustration that I've had recently.