Confession: I never took down my Christmas tree. It's still in the corner of my living room decorated with lights and ornaments.
Goal: Obviously I need to take my tree down, but more specifically I'd like to find something to go in that corner of the room since a empty corner just looks so sad.
Confession: The only time I eat at the kitchen table that Erik made me is when he is over. When I'm alone all meals are consumed on the couch in front of the TV (with my friends the Today Show and the Dr. Phil Show).
Goal: Start eating dinner at my table, like a civilized person.
Confession: I feel so guilty when spending money lately.
Example: I've mentioned to Erik countless times that I'd really like a yoga specific shirt because I'm tired of not feeling comfortable in class. You know that feeling where you're constantly adjusting your clothes because your shirt is riding up or like in my last class it ends up basically over my head in downward dog. Sure, I don't care if I'm flashing my bra at home during yoga but in a class I feel a bit more awkward. In NYC this past weekend I bought a very cute new top, that I felt 100% comfortable in, from Athletica and then proceeded to feel incredibly guilty afterwards. (Like so guilty that I may have asked if we could make a stop to return it...).
Goal: Feel comfortable when making purchases I've planned for. I'm trying out a new budgeting system so I'm fully aware of what I'm spending and where it's going. Hopefully this will help make me feel less guilty when making "splurge" purchases.
(Side note: I think it's finally sunk it that I don't live at home anymore and now I have a whole new group of expenses that I actually need to plan for. I'm in no way living outside my means but I want to make sure I am not just spending money just because I have it.)
Confession: Work on stopping the negative self talk I have going on in my head. For some reason my mind has been fill with a running commentary of negative thoughts this past month. It's so easy to focus on the flaws and forget the positives and sometimes I really need a good peep talk to get myself out the door. I remember when I was about 10 or 12ish my aunt saying to me "Enjoy being thin while you can, you've got our side of the families genes and you won't be thin forever." While I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by it, those words have stayed with me for years. I'm smart enough to know that it's not all about genetics and that what you put in your body and how much you move it effect your physical appearance I realize that my dad's siblings never made these things a priority and it shows, but still I get those thoughts creeping in sometimes of why bother trying you're destined to end up like them. I know, it's ridiculous and needs to stop.
Goal: When I look in the mirror stop focusing on my perceived flaws and focus on the things I love. It's time I start feeling comfortable in my skin. Sure, I probably gained a few pounds since I've stopped cycling everyday but it's not the end of the world. I need to keep reminding myself of this fact.
Confession: I've been avoiding a certain group of friends because every time we see each other I spend the next week plus comparing myself to them. When I leave I usually start freaking about because of x,y, and z even though at the end of the day I don't even want x,y, and z yet.
Goal: This sounds horrible, but I think it's currently for the best, keep my distance from this group of friends. Sure we can still text now and then but I know that I can't handle face to face 4 hour long meet ups right now.