Monday, September 28

Black beans?

Its a ultra gloomy Monday. I had class this morning and I just did not want to get out of bed. My body aches...I have found that a few days before my Tysabri treatments I noticed I feel a bit off. I noticed as I glanced at my calendar that I infact have a treatment scheduled for Wed. Maybe its all in my mind or maybe its a real thing, but I feel off when I am kinda due for a new infusion.

I went grocery shopping the other day and when I go grocery shopping I find that I have been buying heathly things, mainly because I feel guitly if I buy junk food. I figure if I dont have any junk food in the apartment I cant veg out on the couch and munch all day. My wierdest purchase I bought was a bag of organic dried black beans. Here's the deal, I do not eat beans, as like in ever. I think I have had black beans once and pinto beans once, both times the beans were in a burrioto stuffed with random good stuff.

So after staring at this pack of organic beans for a while I decided I would cook some...I figure I can add some rice and other veggies and will have a dinner made up or something like that. I am really not to sure as to what I ever thought I would eat them should be a interesting process.

Sunday, September 27

You've Gotta Swim

I am so so excited tonight. My mom pre-ordered a movie called "Dear Jack" for me! Ok so Dear Jack is a documentary of a guy named Andrew McMahon (he's the singer of Jack's Mannequin, I may or may not be in love with him...) Anyways, you can check out the trailor HERE .

At 22, McMahon was diagnosed with acute lymphoma leukemia. This move documents his ups and downs and inbetweens as he literally fights for his life. Thankfully he had a successful stem cell procedure using his sisters stem cells and that lead to his recovery. I think his message in realsing this documentary is one of strength and courage and I can't wait to see it.

That being said, is it November 3rd yet?

Saturday, September 26

Saturday field trip

Thats right, a field trip! Ok, not your everyday field trip but after firework cleanup both of the Hannahs went back to bed, leaving me wandering aimlessly online. Steph has been at home all day, so I got a bit bored. I was researching online and I found a few record/cd stores that I had to go to. Of course it was pretty easy to get the Hannahs on board to go out after they got some homework done.

So, I wrote out a list of things I couldn't live without in hopes for finding at least one of them. I know that some of them have been out of production for a while so thats why I decided to dig through stores that had used stuff. Here was my list...

Eric Hutchinson:
--> That Could've Gone Better
--> Before I Sold Out
Matt Nathanson:
--> Please
--> Ernst
--> Not Colored Too Perfect
--> Still Waiting For Spring
--> Learning To Breathe
--> The Legend of Chin
Something Corporate:
--> Ready Break
Pete Yorn:
--> Night Crawler
--> Day I Forgot
--> musicforthemorningafter

Ok, so the two store I went to are kinda like must see Rochester music stores....
1. Record Archive . This store has old and new stuff, walls and walls of old records....racks and rows for what seemed like forever of cd's both new and used. The best part is that I have finally convinced myself that buying used cd's is not super gross...ok yeah they have been touched for a while, but its ok, I touch it once to put it inside my computer and then once more to take it out. Once its in itunes I am ok. ( Yes, I am aware I have a slight germ problem) . Anyways, I was like in music heaven. I was like 99% sure that I would not find anything on my list because nothing on it is popular anything...but as I worked through my list I was feeling kinda bummed and then last but not least I found Pete Yorn, and I found all three of his cds. I was like ready to jump for joy. So I went to check out and I felt slightly obsessed buying only one artists music, but whatever I cleaned out the whole Pete Yorn row...anyways I put the cd's on the counter and the guy that worked there looks at them and turns around and fumbles through some things and holds up another Pete Yorn cd and asks if I had to have that one too and luckily I had that one already but it was so cool because unlike a best buy or something these people like are all about the music.

Ok store number 2, The House of Guitars. A legend of Rochester... this place is huge, if you want a guitar you come here, and if you want to go to a music archeive where you dig through cds you come here to. This store was amazing, there is a whole wall just filled with signatures of artists that have visited and we read through it and it was just pretty much awesome.

Ok enough with the randomness from the afternoon.

oh so tired rambelings

I am exhausted. I was tired from observations yesterday, I had got up at 6am and went off to school. My school has been celebrating its 85th birthday so we had fireworks last night. I belong to SAC (student activities council) and its a group on campus that coordinates, plans and runs the big events on campus. Last night our club put on the fireworks and this morning our club got to pick up the reminents of the fireworks.

The people that run the actual firework show shoot off the fireworks behind a atheltic feild and its our job to clean up the trash before any teams take to the field. So at 7:40 we all rolled out of our beds and headed off to pick up garbage.

There is currently a drum line practicing from a close by high school and I can hear them so I am distracted enough not to be able to sleep and that is annoying.

Thursday, September 24

one of those nights...

Sometimes music describes my mood and my thoughts better than I ever could...the lyrics just connect and I find myself listening to certain songs on repeat over and over again.

For instance these two songs fit me so perfectly tonight. Adele - Hometown Glory and Sia- Breathe Me.

I have said many times that one of the only things that got me through 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital was music. My family always jokes around that I am a music freak, but honestly music is that one connection for me that can explain the things I can not. Lyrics make a impact, they make a connection and they really take on this power that is unimaginable. I understand that it is not the same for everyone but sometimes its that thing in my life that is constant. I can always turn on a cd player or my iPod and just zone out.

My blog often confuses me. Sometimes I wonder why I even write it. Would I make more of a impact if I took a chance and shared my thoughts with those who need to hear them. I have always been quiet, shy and more of a listener than a speaker and its hard to find your voice with friends who know you as the one who will always listens but rarely speaks up.

Its weird how I miss my old friends so much at the most random times...My best friend from high school failed miserably at being a friend when I needed her the most last year. All she could focus on was me and school and my grades and graduation...and all I was focused on was talking and walking and functioning. She let me down, but when she got mad at me for not talking to her enough I just gave up. I didn't get to say that I was the one letdown, I deserved to be upset with her, I just needed a friend and she couldn't be that for me.

I image what it would be like if I sent her a letter, a honest, sincere letter about everything. Maybe she would respond, and maybe things would go back to normal...I would wake up and things would be back to normal. I would love to live in this sense of false hope that everything would work out, that she would apologize for running away.

I get it, it was a scary thing, I did not expect people to understand what I was going through, I just needed someone to hold my hand through it all, she couldn't do that.

Even though I am so mad, frustrated and above all just hurt, I still find myself wondering if its my fault...

"I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me"

Sia - Breathe Me

pardon the interuption

but I'm working on my blog so please excuse the messiness.

Wednesday, September 23

A few extras...

The weather here has been particularly strange for the beginning of fall in CNY...instead of cool, its oddly warm and humid...its just messing with my sinuses and allergies. Once again I have found myself to be living on Claritin.

Last night I blogged after the MS event, and I definitely do not want to discourage anyone from attending a event, I highly support and suggest attending just to be able to meet people in similar experiences. When I first was diagnosed with MS I often found myself thinking "omg I am the only one with it." Ok year, I may be the only one on campus with it, but I am not the only one out there. Becoming a member in a support group helped me realize that I was not alone, other people are going though this.

While the event didn't really answer the types of questions in my mind I certainly could see the benefits of attending.

In other news and randomness, today is my open house for the high school I am student teaching in. Its a very odd time,5-7, so I hope that I get to meet some parents and get the full experience. I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Tuesday, September 22

MS for the newly diagnosed event. the afterthoughts...

Tonight I attended a event called, "MS for the newly diagnosed" that run by the MS society and sponsored by Serano. When I arrived I was of course early, but it gave me a chance to scope things out a bit. It was at a area hotel, so I wandered in a grabbed a seat in the lobby to see what was happening. It was my first MS event so I was a bit leary in just walking in super early. After I watched people trickle into a room I followed.

In total there was about 18 of us. I was the youngest...I was the youngest by at like 15-20 years...that was a bit frustrating just for me because I am dying to meet people my age with MS, but yeah it was weird for me personally just because I could tell that the focus of the talk was not aimed anywhere near a younger generation...which I get, they have to direct their talks to the audience but I left and my questions were unanswered. there were two presenters, a general neurologist and a RN MSCN, a nurse/ clinical research coordinator that works with MS patients directly.

The first presenter was the neurologist and I was a bit thrown off when his credentials over viewed. I was surprised to learn that this speaker has worked with about 50MS patients, and that its not really his specialty. The best example I can think of to describe it with would be something like listening him talk was like listening to my general practitioner talk...kinda vague, knows the terminology but you can tell he is not the complete expert.

A major problem I noticed right off was that the speaker allowed questions whenever someone had one, I don't mind this usually as long as questions are kept general, like defining terms, re explanation...BUT a small group of people wth all diffenrt backgrounds and expierences, tons of questions is not so good...people automatically started off asking personal questions, relating everything to them and only them as if they were the only ones in the room. It bothered me because it wasent a one on one session, and thinsg should have been kept generalized.

Since there was so many questions I definitely felt as though the presentation was extremely vague and that honestly I have learned more by just reading the website. In that matter it was frustrating, I don't know what I realistic expected during the doctors talk, but I was hoping for some of the whole, this is what happens when you in the middle of a attack, or this is what is wrong, examples of MRI's...just diving deeper into the whole what is MS, progression, symptoms, attacks vs pseudo attacks...ect.

Anyways, he then talked briefly about treatments, where he said something that bugged me to know belief. He talked about the ABCR- Avonex, Betaseron, Copaxon and Rebrif and just kinda generalized what they were and about how everyone the room starts on these drugs as the normal course of action. I was taking notes the entire time and then he said, and I quote "you have to fail a ABCR drug to discuss starting Tysabri." He continued to say how Tysabri is not allowed under any circumstance to treat MS before you take any other drug. I had the urge to ask him to check his facts, cause there is obviously exceptions to the rules...*cough cough ME cough cough.* Then he compared it to chemo...yeah we can obviously tell who is not a Tysabri guy. My whole idea with drugs that to each their own, I'm not going to say Tysabri is the best thing on earth and make everyone take it, I understand the risks and I choose it. I don't knock any one else's treatments as long at they are happy. Luckily I am comfortable in my own treatment, but if I wasent completly sold on it, his talk would have freaked me out completly...luckily it just pissed me off.

He finished finally and the RN spoke about different therapy's and again ACBR's were the only things addressed...I understand that they obviously are the therapies that the majority of the people are on, but I guess it would have been nice to at least address that there is more and then stress that people need to be happy and content with their drugs.

While I am glad that I went just to experience it, I am frustrated and luckily Steph let me dump all my information on her and all my thoughts, it definitely helped...

I hope I kinda covered everything, if any one who reads this is curious or has questions about the event feel free to drop a comment below and I'll be sure to respond.

Sunday, September 20

6 years later...

It's been 6 years now since my cousin died in a motorcycle accident...I wrote about it month or two ago here, that pig roast kind of smell. Below is my absolute favorite picture from when I was younger, it was Christmas and yeah its one of my favorites.

I still remember the last time I saw him, honestly I can replay it back in my mind, I can still hear his voice and I think I remember everything he told me. I was home alone one night during the summer and he had stopped by to borrow our truck to tow a boat, we talked and he let me tag along. We drove into the city and I remember we were up on Tipperary Hill at his friends house and while he was parking the car he was teaching my how to properly park a motorcycle on a hill, he always wanted me to ride and I used to joke around that I would be way to freaked out to...6 years later and its insane how much I miss him.

Yeah, so I saved the newspaper article from when he died, it was in the local paper...I figured that eventually I would want to read it or be able to read it, I can honestly say I have yet to read through the entire thing...

An East Syracuse man was killed late Sunday (Sept. 21st 2003) when his motorcycle crashed on a rural road in Jefferson County, state police said Tuesday.

Oswego County native Kurt H. Glasier , 33, of 6869 Kirkville Road, was driving south on state Route 11 in the town of Ellisburg when he veered off the right side of the road and struck a stop sign at the intersection of county Route 122, state police Sgt. Ed Croucher said.

Glasier was ejected from the motorcycle when he hit the sign. He landed in a ditch several feet from his motorcycle, which was pressed up against an embankment when troopers arrived, Croucher said.

State police do not know exactly when the crash happened because no one saw it. They believe it happened after dark and that Glasier died almost immediately, but troopers are still waiting for an autopsy report, Croucher said.

About 11:30 p.m., someone driving by saw the reflection of Glasier 's motorcycle, stopped, saw what had happened and called police, Croucher said.

Trooper Joseph Simpson of the Watertown barracks responded to the scene and investigated.

"It's not a lighted area and there's not a lot of traffic in that area. It appears he missed the curve," said Croucher, who is based in the Fulton barracks and was the supervising officer Sunday night.

State police said it appeared that Glasier was traveling at an unsafe speed, and that this contributed to the crash. There was no indication that Glasier had been drinking alcohol, but a toxicology test will be conducted, Croucher said.

Glasier was pronounced dead at the scene, state police said. Jefferson County Medical Examiner Dr. Samuel Livingstone performed the autopsy at Samaritan Medical Center, troopers said.

The crash happened just north of Sandy Creek in Oswego County, where Glasier grew up, according to a funeral director at Foster-Hax Funeral Home in Pulaski. Sometime after Glasier graduated from Sandy Creek High School in 1987, his parents, Jack and Vicky Glasier , moved to the hamlet of Port Ontario.

Glasier attended the State University College at Potsdam for three years, and later graduated from the State University College of Environmental Science and Forestry at Syracuse University. He was a supervisor at New Process Gear until about a year ago, a family friend said. He was working at Performance Harley-Davidson of Syracuse.
Today was one of those days where everything and anything just got to me. Somedays I just want to be left alone, I wake up and just don't feel right. Right as in something is wrong but what is really wrong, everything is the same as when I went to bed, nothings changed...but something is just not right. I made breakfast this morning, egg and cheese in a pita, yum. I did homework...I went to the library and did homework. I left the library 2 hours later, on the way back to my room, I tripped down the stairs outside and feel...I honestly couldn't look behind me for fear that people were staring. I am pretty sure that my right ankle or foot hates me. In the past few weeks I have tripped a uncountable number of times...its frustrating and irritating. I just keep telling myself I'm ok, things could be worse, but it only works for so long...and then I just want to be left along. My roommates and their friends played the Beatles rockband game...that was a automatic headache for me.

Then it was dinner time. Everyone wanted to go out to Moes (they have taco's and burritos and stuff like that). In all honesty I would have been totally ok with not going...but there were 6 of us which meant 2 cars, and low and behold no one wanted to drive because my car fits 8. Instead of asking I was told I was one ever thinks to ask. Why ask when you can assume I suppose. When we left, I turned the wrong way and drive the wrong direction. Everyone was so loud, I honestly couldn't think...I constantly find that being over stimulated it paralyzing...

So now I was frustrated and still had the headache and just didn't feel right. So I drove, I was silent, I listened to my cd playing and just drove and then I was bombarded with the whole "Steph, are you ok?" crap... that just makes me so much more angry and I can't even explain it. Anyways after dinner I ;went shopping alone. I bought shirts for student teaching...I found a Switchfoot cd I was looking for, and I found it used which means cheap...very very cheap.

I came back to my room to find more noise and stupidness...

Watched Sunshine Cleaning tonight...I actually enjoyed it, it had a few sad parts and I was already upset which could describe the few tears shed..but honestly it was a good movie.

Sometimes I kind of feel like my blog is a waste of cyberspace...who am I to complain, things could be worse...but then again who else can I spill out my thoughts to? I do a wonderful job at pretending to be super happy and I guess I feel like if I pretend it long and well enough I will magically be. Truth is I am exhausted, and far from content. I can't complain to anyone here...I can't and refuse to be seen as that girl who complains. If I do complain my complaints are shadowed by my roommates, but who am I to judge, maybe they are just as tired.

Today I woke up and just like every other day since I had my first attack I checked to see if I had feeling in my right hand or foot...I'm pretty sure at this point its false hope to think it will ever comeback, but the whole idea of acceptness seems a bit ridiculous to me...its been like 11 months and I feel like I am more confused, more frustrated and way less understanding then I have ever been.

Friday, September 18

Post Secrets!

Last night my roommates and I attended a Post Secret event. I mention Post Secrets a few weeks ago but the chance came up to go to a Post Secret event at a local university. We all bought tickets and went last night. It was a really nice event, Frank (the creator) shared his insights and the background of the project. We got to meet Frank, got his autograph and a picture with him! It was a fun night. We met up with two of our friends at the event and went for milkshakes and fries at a local diner afterward.

Oddly enough, on the way home I had stopped for gas, and the pump was working funny and printed me a reciept for like .34 ccents in, so I swipped my card agian and filled the tank. When I checked my email I had a urgent email from discover from the fraud team. I called and apparently my tickets for the Post Secrets and my gas purchase looked like fraudulent purchases...strange...

Today I have observations in the classroom that I will kind of take over as a student teacher Oct. 1st so I have a 30min'ish drive to begin in a few minutes...

Thanks to everyones comments from yesterdays gave me the little push I needed to go! Of course I will definitely blog afterward!

Thursday, September 17

wow, is this seriously for real...

I am in a group in my area that is for people with MS who are in their 20's and 30's. I found out about it through my infusion site for Tysabri and its run though the National MS Society. We meet aproximentally once a month and just talk about whats going on, share experiences, ect...its like a support group in a way. Anyways a few minutes ago I got this email...

"Please plan on Oct 14th for our next meeting. We will be meting at Delmonico's restaurant on E. Henrietta Road. We will have a speaker and dinner provided for us courtesy of Serono. Please let me know if you will be able to attend."

Ok so I read it and thought yum I love Delmonicos...and oooh free dinner...who is Serono? Just a quick google search and I quickly find the website that says "Merck Serono is a market leader in the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) with Rebif®, approved for the treatment of relapsing-remitting MS in over 80 countries worldwide. In the United States, we market Novantrone® for worsening forms of MS."

Oh, its a drug company, it just me or is this not really a appropiate sponser for a support group meething...and the guest speaker, who is that going to be? A drug rep?

My roommate and I are just kinda like having a wow, is seriously for real, moment.

Wednesday, September 16

hello 3:17

Yesterday I had dinner with my parents, my aunt and uncle, brother and my cousin-Todd, from North Carolina. Todd usually visits once a year, he was recently married and so we don't get to see him too often. Last time I saw him was for my brothers graduation party, two summers ago. My dads family is alot older, my aunts and uncles are all 12+years older than my dad, so my youngest cousin on that side is like 35...soo my brother and I are the youngest which is always interesting.

My brother and I met up with my family at the Cheesecake Factory...cant complain about dinner because any dinner that ends with cheesecake is OK in my book.

I have been swamped in homework and I am trying to stay calm through the stress of it all. Last night it caught up with me. I had gone to bed around midnight, and I tossed and turned, I watched tv trying to fall asleep, I read for about a hour, it made me more awake...I just sat and stared out the window...3:17am is not a good time to be awake, especially when the count down timer in your head is blaring that class starts in 5 hours and 37 minutes...I got up, did some homework, turned on some music to distract me and finally I fell asleep about 30 minutes later.

Woke up this morning to the sound of tennis balls bouncing off racquet's at 7am...I hoped out of bed, wide awake but definitely not fully rested. My legs today just ache, maybe I did some sleep running last night and ran a few miles. Class was difficult to sit through, I just wanted to stand up and move but all I got to do was sit for a good 2 hours and 20 minutes trying not to think about it. I have another class that starts at 4pm and it runs till 6:40 and I am dreading it. There is always that one class where you don't like the classmates, the professors are in your eyes the worst people on earth and you get that feeling, that pit, deep in your stomach that just does not dissappear until you finally get to walk out of class in one piece.

Monday, September 14

weekend musings

I am neglecting my blog and every once in a while I feel a guilty about it, luckily that feeling passes quickly. Even typing this now is difficult because my apartment is so loud, I just keep typing everything I hear. It's weird because at one point in time I was an excellent multi-tasker, but those times are few and far between.

This weekend was short, I don't know if 48 hours can be considered short, but it was super short. Friday night was a "drive-in" movie minus the driving part. So in actually it was a "walk-in" movie. There was a big blow up screen in one of the lawns on campus, and at dark we watched The Proposal. We brought our blankets and it was a fun night under the stars.

Saturday was supposed to be a shopping day. Steph and I had plans to head to the mall and just shop. (I need dress up shirts extremely bad. Just as we were heading out the door, Steph received a call from her cousin (she goes to a school in the city about 10 minutes from us). She was living in this house, that she just moved into about 2 weeks ago, but something happened between her and the home owner and her cousin thought it was best that she leave and move back home. Steph and I went to help move, and she had more stuff than Steph and I combined. Steph and I carried boxes for a few hours while her cousin just kind of played with her dog...Since she had so much stuff we had to pack Stephs car as well as her cousins car and then drive to her cousins house which was 50ish minutes away...that was a long day.

Sunday was homework day to the homework still isn't all done but I am exhausted and its very clear when I am tired, I get what I am going to call the glitches. This morning during my class I was asked to write something on the board and walking up and back it was obvious that I was glitchy, like my whole right side is a 1/2 step back, my movement does not look smooth at all, but whatever, it's what I have to deal with so I better get used to it.

I have a busy week this week, actually busy doesn't even describe it, its just beyond busy.

Friday, September 11

first day of observations...

It's early.
Very, very, early.
Good luck to me!

Thursday, September 10

This morning I signed up for my first MS event. Not going to lie, its the first one that I even bothered reading the email after I saw the heading, MS for the Newly Diagnosed.

I have been realizing that while I know what MS is, I don't honestly understand it enough to answer my friends questions enough, or really explain it to myself sometimes.The program topics include: "what happens in the body; understanding symptoms vs. exacerbations vs. pseudo-exacerbations; treatment options; myths and misconceptions; "but you look so good" - the invisible symptoms; and injection management."

When I was first diagnosed I had no idea what MS was, just that I was pretty certain that Montel Williams had it. My doctor told me right away not to go online and search about it and I didn't. I went back to school and avoided it. The few times I went online and searched I was always freaked out at the possible outcomes of this disease. I have witnessed what it has done to my own body, have read about what it has done to others through blogs and after reading all this through first hand accounts I think its time to start learning the ins and outs of this disease.

Maybe I'll be able to answer my friends questions better too, I feel like a bad represenation of MS sometimes when I can't even explain whats going on in my body or even whats going on with people with MS in general.

Wednesday, September 9


Zumba was a blast, I am pretty sure I have not worked out that hard since umm before I got sick last October. It felt really was alot of work but I am glad I tomorrow!

Tuesday, September 8

This blog has been a work in progress if you will as I have kind of avoided hitting the whole "publish post" button for a few days now. So I'll recap some stuff.

Last Friday: I drove home Friday morning. I had a four day weekend, my mom had a extra state fair ticket, so I went home. It's only about a 1 1/2 hour drive but sometimes it feels like a eternity. It was a nice day out, not too hot, but not too cold, but walking round for a few hours wiped me out. My mom and I made sure to get the "staple" items at the fair- deep friend oreos- chocolate milk from the giant milk machine- and a giant sausage, pepper and onion sandwich. The main reason I want to go to the fair that particular Friday was because of Switchfoot. Switchfoot was playing for free at 8PM that night and I am kinda in love with them. It was a awesome concert and of course I got a t-shirt to commemorate the night.

Last Saturday: My dad and I went for a motorcycle ride...we got lost a few times on some unmarked country roads, I was just glad we both had a gps. I drove back to school that afternoon, I had a ton of homework the past weekend and I knew I wasn't going to get anything at home if I stayed. When I got back to school I was exhausted and I ended up meeting up with a guy to hang out that night. I got lost getting to his house, two deer ran out in front of my car and it was a weird night. I was under the impression that he and I were just friends because I had made it clear that I am so not interested in anything...apparently the signals got crossed somewhere as he was all over me...after telling him I wasn't interested, I just got up and left. The worst part was that I was walking off the front step, missed the step, fell into a bush, started hysterically laughing as I wiped off needles from my sweater and hurried to my car. I of course told my two roommates- Hannah^2 immediately what had happened and I could barely get the story out without laughing. (Steph was away all weekend). That night our friends called in a fake report to security about noise in our room, we had to fill out reports because we knew who made the prank call, I got id because I happened to have a drink was a pretty weird night...

Last Sunday- Homework and a bunch of us walked to Ben and Jerrys for ice cream. Yay Phish Food!

Monday- umm homework and lunch with my parents

the rest is a blur...

Today: I have one class at 8am...its now 7:34am...I woke up at 7:15am to my Sonic Boom alarm clock that even has a vibrating disc under my pillow that literly makes me jump out of bed. My phone alarm did go off at 6:45 but I turned it off and set it on the window, apparently I thought I could sleep forever today...I have been sleeping alot more lately, like 9+ hours a night...I wake up tired...I am tired all day...I'm just tired. Maybe it's school, maybe it's not...who knows...

Anyways I have Zumba in 50 minutes, and yoga tomorrow night...maybe some physical activity will help.

Thursday, September 3

4 day weekend...ooh and Tysabri #9

I think this is the point where I collapse on the floor and just sleep for like ever.

I started out my morning bright and early with a Tysabri appointment. Apparently my past blood work has been hemolyzed ( uhh I think thats the right word, blood clots or something from the sample?). Anyways I had to get labs drawn at the labs office place, so lucky me I got needle sticks in both arms today. Sometimes I leave the hospital and I kinda feel like I resemble a drug attack with the marks on my arms...but then again Tysabri kind of does make me feel like a drug addict a bit...

Tysabri #9 went well, the funny part was during the whole questioner before the infusion.

Nurse: "any changes in your eyesight, balance or thinking?"
Me: Nope
Nurse: " any chance of pregnancy?"
Me: Nope
Nurse: " do you have a date?"
Me: "Uhhh no I dont have one (I just kept thinking why does she want to know about my dating life..."
Nurse: "You dont?"
Me " Uhhhh no... oooooooooooh! hahahahaha a date...I thought you meant a date date!...haha yes I have a date, like three weeks ago...!

Anyhoo I survived tysabri #9!

Wednesday, September 2

Tysabri tomorrow

Tomorrow is tysabri number...ummm I started in January so, Feb, March, April, May , June, July, August and dun dun dun September. Wow...number 9!

Tonight I was nicknamed "mom" of the apartment after I made a batch of cinnamon buns for tomorrow morning...but yeah I kinda wanted something to eat before I went tomorrow...

Steph will not be there tomorrow...she has a class...which means I will be going solo...even after a successful 8 infusions they still freak me out. I am still the girl who gets freaked out over blood and IVs...even after 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital and being stabbed 3 times a day minimum...

Tuesday, September 1

Swine flu...oh swine flu...

I was reading Tara's Blog this morning while taking a break from a few lesson plans and it oddly made me feel better because at least now I know I am not the only one a bit concerned.

My college is going to require all high risk students (apparently I fall under that category now) and all student teachers (hey I fall under that category too) to get the swine flu vaccine once it is available. (If I fall under both categories, do I at least win a prize?) Anyways, I am kind of a anti vaccine girl...yes I have all my required immunizations but I know way to many people who get the flu shot and then get the flu, maybe its a milder version, I don't know but they still get it.

I like options and the idea of having it be required just makes me want it less. Of course there's that other fear that I get the vaccine and then I get sick too.