Wednesday, December 11

Life Stuff: When Everyone Else Is Getting Married

I am currently 25 years old. By the time my mom was 25 she was already married for two years. My grandparents were married pretty much out of high school. I've always had the stance that I would get married when I was good and ready to get married. There is really no need to rush anything.

I've been dating Erik for 2 1/2'ish years now and marriage just isn't in our plan anytime soon. We don't even live in the same city so a lot needs to change if we ever decide to get married. For now though, we are just enjoying the whole "weekend dating" thing we've been doing and it really works for us. I feel like 25 is still pretty young and really I'm just starting to enjoy being able to do whatever I want during the week and not feeling tied down at all. Eventually it would be nice, I'm sure, to settle down and start a family but I'm not there yet. More importantly Erik and I aren't there yet. It's funny though, because as OK I am with everything I mentioned I have my moments where I look around and feel like everyone is getting married.

Facebook really makes it quite easy to get caught in this trap where you feel like you are constantly being bombarded with news that you really don't need to know. Do I really need to know every detail about some girl I went to high school with that I haven't talked to in 5 years? Yeah, probably not. But still, we log onto this platform and school through peoples lives and it's pretty easy to get caught in a comparison trap. I know that I don't have to be on the same timeline as everyone else. To each their own, sort to speak, but it's so easy to find yourself getting caught up in everything and feeling bad about your own stuff.

Next September I'll be going to two weddings, one for my cousin who is a year or so older than me, and another for a college roommate. I couldn't be happier for them both, but I know that when my cousin get's married I'll inevitably hear the question "so when are you and Erik getting married" at least a few times. I'll brush the question aside and continue on with the night and try not to let it bother me, but I really don't enjoy the added pressure. I'll get married when I am good and ready to do so.

It's not just Facebook where it seems like everyone, but me, is getting married lately. It's also work too. I work for a relatively small company and there are currently 3 people right down the hall planning their weddings. I hear a lot of marriage talk around here. When I come back from any sort of vacation one of my coworkers always checks for a ring on my finger because she is convinced I'll be getting married soon. I try to explain that it's just not in the cards for now, but it's just a waste of breath.

Marriage talk doesn't come up in conversations with Erik that much, unless I see that someone else got engaged. Usually, I do pretty well with just being happy for the couple, but the other weekend I got into some vortex of feeling like maybe we are doing something wrong. You start to question everything and feel like something must be broken because you just aren't on the same timeline. I had to remind myself that it is OK to do your own thing. The most important thing is for you to be happy with your own choices. I choose to be in my current relationship and no one is forcing me to stay. I stay because I am over the moon happy in it. Being in a long distance relationship has it's ups and downs, but so does every other relationship. Getting caught up in playing the comparison game isn't going to do anyone any favors. I don't need to focus on what everyone else is doing, I just need to focus on what I am doing and what we are doing.

A ring on my finger is just that, a ring on my finger. Maybe one day when I am really ready to settle down and get married a ring will symbolize so much more, but for now, it's just a ring.

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