Maybe you've noticed...

I have taken a bit of a break from the blogging world. I have still been reading everyones blogs, but I am a firm believer that we all need to take a step back sometimes just to put everything in perspective.

I've had a hell of a year. To think that it has only been a year just blows my mind. It's so hard to block out everything that has happened and just pretend that everything is how it used to be but in a way everything seems to be the same. I have been growing out my hair, I always hated long hair but I had such puffy cheeks from all the steroids, having long hair was something I could control. Wednesday afternoon I had it all chopped off. All my friends are still under the assumption that I had it just trimmed. I have been home since Tuesday night for Thanksgiving break. I decided well over a month ago that I needed to feel like I used to. I always hated long hair...I love when my hair is short. Hair is one of those things that I can control. While everyone said they loved my hair long, I choose to chop it off.

My hair was a reminder of everything that I was trying to hide from. I was hiding from my steroid cheeks, I was hiding from the MS. As many times as I tried to convince myself that I could fight it, I just wanted to believe that so badly that at times I did believe it.

As I look in the mirror now, I finally see my old self. That person that I started to believe did not exist. She's back...and she is so ready to kick ass.

I guess this is just a quick hello post, I'm still working on grasping this idea of a new, but old me, this year I lost my sense of direction but I am finally starting to navigate through the muddy waters that I now call my life. I am truely happy though- I started to forget what happy even was- I'm not scarred of what is waiting in the future- I know that I can do anything- I can honestly say I am happy with the decisions I have made this past year, I wouldn't change a thing...I am happy, I am content, I can look into the mirror and finally love what I see.

So...I am still breathing and I promise to check in again in the upcoming weeks...but until next time...<3

"Katie, Katie I'm sorry that in your condition

The sunshine's been missing but Katie,

Don't believe that it isn't there.

Oh and Katie, Katie be happy

This world can be ugly, but isn't it beautiful?

We're not really here, and we're really not there

We're really not there."

There, There Katie- Jack's Mannequin

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving fellow bloggers!

I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Last year I spent my Thanksgiving in the hospital and was discharged Thanksgiving evening...I am thankful that this Thanksgiving I am home, doing 100times better than everyone could have ever hoped for or expected and that I get to eat real home cooked food with my family this Thanksgiving.

Introducing Carlos and Alden

Carlos(Steph's) is on the left and Alden(mine) is on the right...Steph and I have always wanted a pet other than a fish at school so yesterday we finally went out and got hermit crabs...

Now off to call my Grandma for our weekly chat...

Dear Anonymous..

Just so everyone is on the same page I recieved a nice comment from a reader...see below...I may be in a interesting mood but you anonymous comment givers frustrate me...oh, I changed the settings on my blog because of you...you now have to be a registered user, maybe that will deter the unwanted comments...Don't get me wrong though, I love comments, comments that make me smile and let me know that people do understand. I am grateful beyond words for my followers, without you I doubt I would have kept this blog up for so long.

"First, it's quirk not cork. Second, you're a teacher - use spellcheck, or proof more carefully. Third, and last, I agree with you about the messes in the kitchen - especially when living with roommates. Nothing may change, but I'd gently confront the person/s responsible.

Glad you're feeling better. Keep on writing!"

Dear Anonymous...

1. If you are going to critique my blog please have the decency to at least leave a name with a email adress so I can personally thank you for visiting my blog.

2. If you seriously have issues with my grammar and spelling you can fucking close the window, there is this cute little red x in the corner of your screen...if you require further directions of how to do so just let me know.

3. I am a teacher, actually I am a student teacher, but thank you for pointing that out. I am also a 21 year old college student. I also have MS, so seeing how I have been working 8 hour days minimum for free, then completing course work for college outside of student teaching I should be allowed to have typos. Lastly I am human, we all make mistakes, we all make errors, or at least that is what I have been explaining to my students. I would just love to personally proofread your writing but oh, like I said in number 1, you left no information...

4. Blogs are ways to connect with people on a whole new level and to find support that you can not find from the people around you on a normal basis. I thoroughly enjoy every blog I follow, I may not comment all the time, but I take the time to read and listen to what that person is saying. I don't pay attention to grammer and spelling, I pay attention to what that person is saying, what they are trying to express, that is the important part.

5. I would say something mean and nasty, but I will refrain, instead I will just say that spell check is two words, not one...I mean you could hyphen it if you wanted but that is extra work. Don't fret though, we all make mistakes.

dishes...

I am weird. I am well aware of my corks...I'll even share one because I am in a very random mood.

I am a clean freak when it comes to kitchens. I have issues when other people cook, espically meat, because I am almost positive people don't know how to use a meat thermometer. I am terrified with fear of cross contamination..cutting meat with a cutting board and the cutting veggies on it that someone serves raw freaks me out...there is plently more but I wont bore you.

When a person uses pots/pans/plates/utencils to make a meal all I ask is that said tools are cleaned within a resonsonable amount of time after they have been used. This summer my dad bought me these amazing pans, lime green, coated with teflon, I could melt cheese over them and they just wipe clean...amazing...no scrubbing ever...anyways, I do not mind when my roommates use them, they are there for everyone. However, when they use them and leave them for 27 hours...yes I counted...it bugs me to no belief. No, not just one lime green pan was used but 2 pots, and big spoons all sat on the counter, just stitting in the greease and cheese and nastiness...I waited, and waited for them to be cleaned but all day all I could think about was if the kitchen was being cleaned up. It was never cleaned...I caved, I cleaned it...

I feel like I am my dad...he would never have a dirty kitchen...I hate dirty kitchens...

This is the 2nd time this week I have cleaned up a day+ later someone elses mess...I could address the issue but I know things wont change...I'm happy cleaning...at least when I clean them I feel like they are really clean...

Like I said, I know I am weird maybe a tad OCD, I accept it, I love it.

It has been a while since I have written a real blog...but I guess I don't have a lot to say. The funny thing is I was planning on writting one tonight, even had it all planned out in my mind, but I was distracted and have been seraching through http://www.volunteermatch.org/

I think next semester I am going to start volunteering...It's about time I start giving back...

suprise suprise

Sinus infection...I'm pretty sure at this point I could self diagnose myself with that one...

ugh

Still sick...day 4..heading over to a urgent care place just to get checked out to ease my parents minds...

day 3: still sick

I woke up this morning gasping for air, stuffy nose and a horrible cough lead to me hyperventilating.

That all kind of disaptated once I was up and I started to feel better. I was fever free and could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And then whatever I had decided to morph and kick my ass again...my skin burns, it could be from the 100ish temp I am running, my body just aches and earlier the room was literally spinning so I took a nap...weirdest nap ever...even though I have never dabbled in the whole illict drug thing what I expierenced during my hour and a half nap I would definitely classify as one insane trip...

I guess I scored a sick day for myself tomorrow...I have to be fever free for 24 hours till I can go back.

I'll try again tomorrow...

sick day

I woke up, felt iffy, stopped at the store on the way to grab a thermometer and no fever so thats good, then went to school and got sent home by my teacher. Fail.

I guess its a sweat pants and tv day...

*cough...sneeze...cough...cough*

I felt a bit "iffy" this morning but I went off to school. I had a observation today for Microsoft Word, itwent well but it was 60 straight minutes of talking...excessive talking...and not talking in your everyday kinda voice, but instead it was just short of shouting. I kept thinking that my throat hurt but it was because I was talking so much. Come to find out my co-operating teacher also had a sore throat as well as Steph.

Peachy keen...goodbye healthy body, hello sickness. I've got Robitussin in my system so lets hope I make it through tomorrow cause then its the weekend!

It's almost Tuesday...

I truely, honestly believe that on full moons everything is 100x stranger than normal. Full moon plus that fact that today was a Monday just tripled the strangeness today. Long story short, the sound on the computers failed for a movie I was supposed to play so luckily I had a backup plan, I ran insanely late for school this morning, I spilled soup everywhere at lunch, I couldn't find the "play" button on the DVD player (there were only two buttons on the damn contraption), my advisor called to change by meeting with him from 4 to 3:30 only for me to arrive at 3:28 to find out his 3oclock appt. had yet to start, my ankle hurts like a (insert naughty word here) and the Yankees are currently losing.

Tomorrow will also be a long day...my goal is to go to bed soon...well once I finish my Yuengling...its a pretty tasty beer, Yuengling and saltine crackers <-- which I think I am addicted too...or maybe I just like the salt on them. Steph commented Friday night that I drink alot and I laughed because I go threw a 6 pack in about a month...I guess 6 is alot when all my roommates drink 0... what can I say, I am just not a wine kinda girl...