Thursday, January 21

Why am I at all surprised?

I have earned the repuation from my family and friends as the girl who absolutly hates doctors. I usually do everything in my power to aviod going and when I have to go, I drag my feet the whole way.

So yesterday I went to the neurologist for my year check up appointment. Months ago I had to reschedule this appointment because of a time conflict and the secretary argued with me because it HAD to be with my neurologist...couldnt be with the R-NP. So yesterday I go with my list in hand of all my questions, thoughts and of course witty remarks written in the margins for my amusement.

I sat in the waiting room, listened to my iPod and ran through my list and suprise suprise, my doctor was on a teleconference to help pick a new MS president person (and frankly thats all fine and dandy and important but shouldn't patients come first...if it wasn't for patients there would be no doctors...maybe they missed that memo) and was very sorry but he wouldnt be able to see me today, but his R-NP could. So that just urked me a bit...because it HAD to be with my neurolgst, and let me tell you that I just HATE changes in scheduled plans. So, I went back with the R-NP, and don't get me wrong, she is a very nice woman, but she is not who I wanted or planed to see. Her and my doctor are complete opposites, they make a nice team but they are so very much polar opposite. So after the whole timed walking test we get back into a room and she tells me that she knows I am busy (if she would have asked, I didn't have any class that night so really there was no need to rush anything... after all thats why I picked that time) so she will just do a quick neuro check and then I would be on my way.

My neurologist spends lots of time with his a good 30-60 minutes and he will answer all your questions, well at least he does for me...there never is a rush and I like that.

Anyways, the R-NP continues to tell me how much I've changed since I first met her, and that she had NEVER seen spasms like mine and how they were the worst thing ever to see (like really...I didnt know that, cause they were a totall joy to have...ugh) and then she goes on to tell me about other patients and how theres were never that bad and blah blah blah. Then she gives me the whole, Tysabri has problems but usually not in your first year and so you shouldnt worry (*cough* *cough* *cough* I'm on my second year...not my first...thats why there are medical records). Then she asks how I am feeling and I go to pull out my list and start off and she just says "oh sounds like everything is going well..." (cuts me off mid sentance)...writes my MRI form up for April...writes a prescription for Ritalin (which was on my complaint list...but obviously I didnt get to that or any question/concern/comment). My appointment was a total of like 10 minutes, I actually paid the lowest parking charge ever, I didnt even know that a 3 dollar charge existed because I have never been out in less than a hour.

I was so upset when I left though...I totally cried on the way back to my dorm...I had to drive extra around the block so my eyes werent so puffy and red. I was just so mad and frustrated, because as much as someone looks at you and says "you look so good" that is just the outward one really realizes when I start clenching my fist together or clenching my toes because I can't control certain muscles from one notices the small things...but that doesn't mean they shouldn't let the patient talk.

So, I guess I am just throughly disappointed...I guess maybe I can save my list for July...totally, just totally lame. I do have Tysabri on Friday...I think Steph is tagging along as well so that should be fun (well the needle part is not fun...but dragging a friend to come is always kinda fun)...

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