Safety Training

Everything I knew about office safety training was from an episode from The Office. I thought it was common sense. I had one on one safety training today with a man who spoke in a monotone voice for 54 minutes. I have to bit my tongue and a cover my mouth to avoid laughing. I wont lie at times I sat there almost shaking because I was trying so hard not to laugh. He took it seriously but I just couldn't do it. A few things I learned:

- Never, ever go in the room marked with radiation signs! (Which they have special key readers for and I so didn't get the special radiation room key so until I figure out how to break in I think I safe)

- The office is a dangerous place, its a land full of paper cuts, carpel tunnel and back problems. At one point he started to discuss the possibility that papers will become airborne and cut my corneas. He went in to graphic detail. I laughed. I laughed out loud. 

- I learned that I should not drink printer ink. It's a chemical. Chemicals are bad. If I want to change a printer cartridge I need to take the proper precautions - gloves to my elbows, a smock and safety glasses. 

- I learned the definition of flammable. My dad isn't a retired firefighter or anything and I most certainly have no comprehension of the English language. Maybe my inability to sit still and remain silent and laughter-free lead him to believe I was a special employee of some sorts...

- He also went over safety at my home. How to read chemical labels and that I should never ever ingest chemicals. If only he knew Windex(the blue colored one of course) was the magic component in my famous martinis...

At the end of the training and tour he asked what high school I graduated from. I answered and he asked where I was planning to go to college. I was confused and then awkwardly said I already graduated college. He didn't believe me. 

Off to bed I go...another day of work tomorrow...thrilling...I also hope this doesn't have a hundred typos I'm to tired to edit.