I am gonna do this.

I am gonna do this. I am. I am determined to start riding again. Today was day three of getting back into it and tonight I spent 68 minutes on a bike to go 15miles. Gosh I am sore now, but I felt great when I got off it. I immediately felt like I really accomplished something and it just made me feel good about myself. I have been feeling really good lately and am really trying to block out all the negatives. It is the negatives that tear me apart.

Steph is not here tonight so its just me...and yeah stuff starts to eat away at me and then I get all ancy and sick feeling. I started to eat anything insight and it really is a awful downhill spiral. I called my house thinking that someone there could distract my mind for a while, but of course my parents were busy, its sorta really sucked.

I have a appointment with the neurologist on Tuesday who knows what the brain scans will show. Does it really matter? I wish I could tell myself it didnt, but I cant fool myself. I hate knowing that there are these leasions on it. UGH cant think about it, cant write about it or I will never sleep.

Oh, so this morning Steph and I may have gotten up super early to go geocaching. Of course it was raining, snowing, super cold and super windy but it was a blast. I would put some pictures up but I cant get them off my phone. So hopefully sometime soon there will be some pictures added!