welcome to hell. *cough cough* I mean finals week...

Finals week. My least favorite week of the semester. The stress is overwhelming and all I can seem to do is study. I studied for like six hours today. I have a final at 1:20 tomorrow, it is in accounting and it has me stressed. I am not sure if it is the two finals themselves that I have in the next two days or if it is the fact the word "final" has been engrained into my brain to result in fear and absolute terror? Who knows really, but what I do know is that finals test you on way to much. 

( sorry I get off topic here...feel free to sick down two paragraphs to finish the week from hell blog... but the story below is a bit weird too...)

I went to the Roost tonight. It is the place I passed out in last week, but I had a craving for mozzarella sticks so I trucked my way over. When I walked into it, there was just three workers standing and talking,  their backs turned towards me. Well, one of them turned around and as she said "hello" she started to stare. A full on intent, worried stare that actually made me feel very uncomfortable. She then started going on and on about how she was so worried about me and blah blah...well I replied saying that I was fine, but I had no idea who she was. Well apparently she was one of the workers who was there when I passed out and tried to keep me awake... I feel bad because I came off like a jerk, but honestly this woman that I didn't know starts saying all these things about me, well yeah I was going t be a bit freaked out. When I got back to the room I told Steph what had happened and she thought it was funny. I just wonder how many people know...

There was also a email circulated today that I found to be rather amusing. Our school has a team for the upcoming MS walk on Sunday. I found out about this after we had already formed a team of my suite mates. The emails were always vague, such as MS affects so many people each year, but nothing ever about our campus. Well, today the email said how MS affects many people- even this year one of our own students was diagnosed. At first I was a bit surprised, I thought that someone else had been diagnosed. Well then I realised that the person writing the email was my former boss...so basically the one diagnosed was me. I had to stop working because of my flair-ups. Someday I would be very curious as to how many people MS really affects...not the bullshit number of 400,000 each year, because no offense National MS society, I do not believe you. Your numbers have not changed and I am sure they should change. There are more accurate numbers for a vast number of other things, why isn't there for MS?

Anyways back to my finals week from hell blog...

My two suite mates do not have tests tomorrow so their willingness not to be loud has truly shown through. Steph has a big test tomorrow, but instead of quiet, all we hear is laughter and yelling. It is hard to concentrate, and I have given up, I know I will be studying in the morning so I do feel OK about giving it a rest for tonight. However, Steph has more finals than I could imagine and it is weird but my suite mates utter disregard for being quiet leaves me quite upset. It must be the mood or the stress, but I just feel as thought their should be some level of respect. I am quit when they study, I only ask the same for when I study. Seems fair...

I was supposed to have a final tomorrow morning as well at 8am, but I talked with my professor and made some "reasonable accommodations," meaning that he is going to allow me to take it on Thursday because he, like me is afraid that if you stress me out too much there is a great likelihood that I will collapse during one of my tests. I realize that the goals of my professors is not to corner me into the worst possible situations but I always had a hard time that they are really there to help. I always used to view my professors as this forces not to be reckon  with. I was wrong, the past months have shown me that they do care, they are there to help, to listen and to help you succeed. I feel blessed to say that my professors truly care about me.

Last night was the first night that I actually slept amazingly well. I fell asleep to the song 12:59 Lullaby and for some reason that song brings me into this mindset that I just feel at ease in. I am surprised at my own blogs lately, it seems as though taking a few days off has fueled my fire to get back into writing. I noticed that when I neglected blogging I just felt jumpy and my thoughts were off track. When I blog, it gives me a chance to re-visit the days events and make sense out of things that I didn't really have a chance to investigate. I can actually say I enjoy blogging and I enjoy the sense of calm I get after I hit the publish post button. When I press it, it is as if my thoughts and fears go away for awhile, they take a much needed break and I love that feeling.