i didn’t realize how hard some things would be. for instance taking notes in my education class. it doesn’t help that is at a grad level, with 6 other grad students and then me, still a undergrad. the fact that the class is 4-6:40 does not fall in its favor either. before that class i have 4 other classes, making mondays miserable. the worst part was that all we basically did was take notes, and more notes until i had a solid 5 or 6 pages front and back. as the note taking went on i progressively got more tired and tired, and more frustrated that my writing ability diminished...and so i got frustrated. i tried to talk to the professor after but the words didnt come out like i wanted and i think my frustration did. i did get a email from the professor this morning and he said he would provide me with notes for the remaining classes. i just dont think people get it, i wish they did, i know the cant or wont even comprehend it like i want them to but i feel like i am in my own little world sometimes, just disconnected from it all. the good news is that i kinda like this blogging thing. i had tried it in the past but it didnt work out, but i actually look forward to it and thats exciting. i was listening to matt nathanson again...yeah i am addicted but i love his music..but anyways i thought these lyrics (sad song, matt nathanson) framed my train of thought for whats going on...
"I feel so faded, so far gone..
Nothing surprises me anymore..
So faded, so far gone…
Nothing surprises me anymore.
So much better than all this, all this..
Tired of singing sad songs in my head,
But I can’t find enough of anything to drown out what you said.
And sometimes I find I catch myself letting you back in,