breathe

every once in a while i find myself freaking out about things that wont even effect me for days, weeks or months. i know that i cant let my fear of the future control my present. i tell myself this, i even listen to this one song, breathe by fabolous. its like i have to stop, breathe and just put my mind on track to what i need to accomplish today. i know my future is all jumbled for now, i wish i had it mapped out perfectly because that would be perfect. i wish i had all my plans laid out, job, career, husband, kids...ect...i wish i had a short cut button so i could skip all the unknown in the future that causes my freakouts. 

its funny because all my relatives always told me how college would be the best experience of my life...they all seem to have backtracked now and they now say that life after college is the best. i find it amusing because i look at my college experience thus far and see how life really is, difficult, intimidating and full of surprises...

i hate surprises. i dont ever want a surprise birthday party. i am someone who will plan every part of my day and i hate rolling with the punches. however, i have gotten better at it recently. i take a deep breathe and continue on and think to myself, can it really get much worse...

can it really get much worse?