Wednesday, January 28

hey there old face...

It is day two of know steroids and i am starting to see my old face again. i am guessing that within a week i will get it all back. last night i kept waking up remembering things i had to do. i hate when that happens because i never remember in the morning so i get up when it happens, usually stumbling out of bed and knocking my stuff over and looking through the piles of stuff on my desk until i find exactly what i am looking for. my poor roommate probably thinks i am absolutely insane ( which i am about 90% of the time) but she puts up with the late night wanderings. this is most likely because she does the exact same thing in the mornings.

i am feeling better but that may have something to do with the fact that i bought matt nathanson tickets today. i really am obsessed and i couldnt be happier...but really i trudge to class like a zombie. today when i was walking outside through the snow, i noticed how quiet everything is when it snows. the blinding whit and the quiet put me in this weird trance where i just felt at ease and like time had stood still. it was makes me rethink my need and want to move away from this place...

i have a course some lyrics that reflect what i am sorta kinda feeling...i am tired of being a zombie...

I wanna feel the car crash
I wanna feel the capsize
I wanna feel the bomb drop, the earth stop
'Til I'm satisfied
I wanna feel the car crash
'Cause I'm dyin' on the inside
I wanna let go and know
That I'll be alright, alright
-Matt Nathanson-Car Crash

I think i have a problem, because i really love matt nathanson...his cd's are the only thing in my car, his songs rotate through my ipod every night when i sleep and one of his songs is the ringtone on my phone...i promise though i am not a stalker, i just found something that fits me..i somehow just feel better when i am listening...i am sure when i see him live it will be amazing...

facebook makes me angry. i hate that i am friends with my enemies. i hate that my enemies best friend used to be my best friend. i hate seeing the messages that they leave each other...i hate seeing status changes...i hate it all...i hate facebook...i hate that i am so paranoid that i can easily convince myself that my enemy is posting shit just to make me feel horrible. i think she knows that it woks...she plays off of my weaknesses and uses them to her full advantage...honestly i wish she walked just one day in my shoes, she so wouldnt last 10 minutes.
supposedly prince harry's girlfriend broke up with him through facebooks status's...facebook is reallly getting to be to power.

thank god for this blog, without it i could never un-wind at night
thank god for benidryl, without it i could never get a full nights sleep
thank god for 4 wheel drive, without it i will not be able to get out of my parking space in the morning
thank god for my true friends, without them i would go insane 
thank god for my ipod, without it i would never be able to listen to matt nathanson while i sleep
thank god for sweats, without them i would feel fat
thank god for steroids, without them lesions would continue to take over my brain
thank god for the office, without it i would have no reason to make it through the week

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