hot chocolate and a introduction

hi. my name is stephanie and i am a junior in college in upstate ny. its cold and snowy but i love it here and wouldnt move to somewhere even if you paid me a million bucks. my friends are all here, as well as my family that is about a hour away. i am a business and marketing education major who is buried in homework about 97% of the time. this week is a bit different than most weeks because i start my Tysabri treatment for my MS. 

last oct. i had full right sided numbness on half my body and thats when i found out i had ms.

last nov. i was driving from my house to school and about halfway i could no longer sing along with the radio...after arriving back at school i had no ability to talk, my balance was way off and it was rather hard to swallow. two and a half weeks in the hospital, four plasma exchanges later everything started coming back. since then i have been on the oh so wonderful but oh so dreaded prednisone and i have recovered quite well. 

like i said though i start my first ms treatment ever thursday morning. i will also be having a baseline mri taken.

since it is super cold here i thought a cup of hot chocolate would motivate me alittle more to get this started. i always wanted to but i get super distracted or super moody. i deserve to have my moments like anyone else but if not more because i think about the 2000 other students at my school who didnt get ms. as much as i would like to just say that it hasent affected me or that i am just as happy as before, that would be complete bullshit. smiles are mostly forced and fake. i dont laugh like i use to and i just have a attitude, everything is bullshit. a few friends have labeled me as strong, which is flattering but i guess they dont see or hear what happens in my head. i am terrified of what is next and angry as hell about where my life has taken.

i guess i'll end it here...i have been listening to matt nathanson since christmas...i may be completely and utterly obsessed...