Monday, January 26

its monday...but dont forget the fortune cookies!

its Monday night, i woke up reluctantly at 9:45. I dont understand how I can go to bed at 12, be asleep by 12:30-1ish and still be incredibly tired at 9:15 when my alarm clock goes off...I really love snooze buttons though...but I was totally my OMG OMG OMG I am finally taking my last steroids dance...I have been on them steadily since Oct and I can say that I am thrilled that now my chipmunk cheeks will start shrinking soon! I will not miss the funky moods, the insane hunger and the horrible horrible chipmunk cheeks...

So before lunch I have two 50 minute classes, I like to think of this as my warm up for the day. Then theres lunch and then I have a 50 minute class, and then a 1 hr and 15 minute class and then a 2 hr and 30 minute class, all in a row with a 5-15 minute break inbetween. It seriously sucks. The good news is that last class for education ( the 2 1/2 hr class) I  received a set of notes. So instead of taking like 4-6 pages front and back of notes and becoming exhausted I just follow along with the instructor. It made my life so much easier, and I was definitely less exhausted after that.

I actually had enough energy to go to the gym and spend some time on the bike, it was kinda cool to not be so exhausted for once.  However, I am totally feeling the effects of the long day and I will probably be out cold tonight which will be good, especially because I have a meeting with a business teacher tomorrow at 9. I will be observing his classroom and this is the "get to know you" meeting. I am just sad its early and its like a 22 minute drive according to google maps. 

I dont know why I decided to actually capitalize things today. I just found myself subconsciously doing it. It was Chinese New Year in the dining hall...and I ate lots and lots of fortune cookies, and did not find any good fortunes...it was rather disappointing. 

I love that I could keep writing and writing but I am really just avoiding the thing that is bothering me the most. My mother is driving me insane. I understand that she worrys, I get it...but she calls, she texts, she IM's all the time, all day. She wakes me up in the morning, she texts me in my classes, she calls during my breaks and she wonders why I get aggravated. My dad understands that I am 20, that I can handle stuff on my own and that I can and should be allowed to do my own thing without being bugged every ten seconds. I call him when I need or when I want to talk. He has no problem with that because he knows that I will call him when I need to. My mother has yet to understand that concept, so if I dont call or answer her texts in a reasonable time she is ready to send a search party out.  Its frustrating and I just wanna be able to do my own thing...I kinda think the quote from O.A.R's Shattered fits me rather well...

How many times can I break till I shatter? 
Over the line can't define what I'm after 
I always turn the car around 
Give me a break let me make my own pattern 
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered 
I always turn the car around


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