and its monday

ok so my super awesome blog is incredibly hard to write to night for a few reasons. 

the first is that last night i tossed and turned and woke up and had weird dreams...i took two benidryl and i should have been out cold like normal, but last night i guess my mind won. its not like i was super nervous about anything...ok, that a life, i was kinda freaked out about the itching, but good news it that throughout the day today it disappeared. 

the second reason is that i had 5 classes today. 1 accounting test, i got back two other tests/quizzes- a 88 and 96! and then i had a boring class and the last is my 2 1/2 hour class, methods of teaching business ed. the weird thing was that we ave to do lesson plans and unit plans so i went up to my advisors office to raid his collection of business ed books. i walked in and he was talking to my consumer behavior professor. my advisor and consumer behavior professor teachers are the co chairs of the dept or something...and anyways my advisor started asking me about how i was doing, he said i was looking good, and he was curious about my treatment. keep in mind i never told any of my professors this semester what was going on...so my consumer behavior professor was looking at me like i was dying or something...i hope he doesnt talk to me about stuff in class...

the third reason is that i got a text from my dad to check my email when i could...so i did and there was this message: "Some guy from Biogen called and wanted to talk to you.  I gave him your cell number and said the best time to call was tues and thrurs after noon.  He said he was calling as part of a follow up and counsel program they have.  They are interested about how their product is working and if you have any questions etc." i would rather not talk to them mainly cause really what do they think, i am magically better...or maybe they are wondering if i like am worse from it, do they really wanna know i am the same?

the fourth reason is that i got a email from the head of the ms group for the 20's and 30's or whatever...and they are meeting wednsday at like 6:30...i feel weird going to that, i hate that i am always like the youngest...i get nervous meeting new people, like super anxious and stressed...so you can imagine my hesitation for going...oh there is also a SU game on that night...but on the other hand its important that i meet people who have ms and can deal with it...socialization is always good...right? and i think my friend would kill me if i didnt go. she is the only one who knows about it and i really dont wannna discuss it with my suitemates/roommates, they dont get it, they think everything is peachy...little do they know...

ok so i had alot to blog but i was listening to the frays cd and this one song, where the story ends, is great... 

"All we know is distance

We’re close and then we run

Kiss away the difference

I know you hate this one

But this is how the story ends

Or have we just begun"

i guess i kinda feel like i relate in a bit of a different way than probably the true meaning of the song, but when i read this i think that distance is all i know, meaning distance in most of my relationships, and when i get close to someone i feel the need to breakaway from the person...real relationships we people are so much scarier for me than the fake, shallow kind...but the real ones are the ones that count..

and i have a early morning tomorrow, observations, bright and early...